The Rhyme Scheme

[doomed2fall]

i've kinda gotten over my tendency to not speak to anyone unless spoken to recently, which is nice, but it's a weird adjustment after so many years. For so long i thought no one would ever want ANYTHING to do with me, so i did what i thought was better and completely avoided them. Anyone who stuck around with me for any length of time must have been the most patient people in the entire world, i gave them nothing to work with. It's really pathetic looking back on it, and it definitely stunted me socially. Not that i don;t think i'll ever get over it, but it'll probably take a while to seem genuinely normal to others. Whatever.
Right now, that weird middle space manifests as interacting with others, but being completely unaware of how i really come off in any way. At least not talking didn't have that, if you talk to no one everyone thinks you don't want to talk and that ends there. Talking to people can have any outcome out of thousands, and i don't know how to guess the right one.
Even tho i don;t know any specifics, i think the general impression people get of me is pretty much the same either way. From what i've heard people who know me usually think i'm a weird asshole whether they like me or not, so at least i have that.
Entry title is from a song by Cursive