doomed2fall

5 years of high school, all over just like that. The ending felt anticlimactic. Last year, i felt so nervous the entire last month, i told my friends i felt like i was being hunted for sport. After i got home, i had no more work, but i felt antsy sitting there not working. This year i haven't really felt anything yet. Even if i get sad later in the night it'll be pretty uncharacteristic of me, usually i start feeling awful on the bus ride back from a great day, but today the most upset i was about anything is how a couple of my classmates left before i could get them to sign my yearbook.
Maybe it'll set in tomorrow, when i go see my friend and discuss her going to university. Maybe it'll set it next week, while i sit there applying for jobs. Maybe next month, when i get one of those jobs. Maybe next year. i don't know.
After so many years of being a sad, ill and lonely kid i ended up being a pretty well adjusted, social and likeable man. i keep trying to continue this here, but i don't really know what else to say. i guess that's it.
Title is from a song by At The Drive-In

i didn't forget about my blog, i just couldn't think of anything to write for a while.
Anyway, i have something now. These last two weeks i did work experience for school, i worked on a construction site as an electrician. Unfortunately i did not get paid but i did learn a lot about what my future job would entail and what to expect.
One thing i learned is working on slab fucking sucks and i swear my foreman actually timed it so i'd be up there specifically only when it was raining -_-. Also on the very last half of the day of the last day after having me on rough-in the entire week prior so i wouldn't forget how much it sucked, lol.
Another thing, no one there gave a shit that i'm trans, not like they all thought i was a girl cause i got mostly called he (or they, which i don't like but i'm pre-t so i look like a guy with a girl voice so expected), so that was pretty reassuring.
There's a bunch of stuff besides that but there's also some stuff i'm kinda worried about. For one thing, i was tired as shit after every day, a couple of days i didn't even do anything except sleep all afternoon, wake up to eat dinner and then go back to sleep. i didn't have the energy to work out any weekday and didn't really do anything else productive either. i think with time i'd get more used to it and be able to actually do stuff (especially if i lived closer and didn't have to wake up at 4:45am everyday). Another thing, a bunch of people there were 19-early 30s and already disabled or in a lot of pain constantly, which is startling to think could very very easily happen to me.
This part is just to complain but my classmate was also there and he's annoying as shit. He's constantly freaking the fuck out over nothing. He says assuming the worst in every situation means he's either "not surprised when the worst happens or pleasantly surprised if it doesn't" except that's not even true, if the worst happens he freaks out and starts crying and if the best happens he just goes straihgt to worrying about another thing. He also kept making our coworkers turn their music off because they're technically not supposed to be playing it but come on man it's so lame. He also called their music annoying which like man you listen to vocaloid you cannot be calling rap annoying. He also said we were commiting time theft at one point even tho we weren't fucking getting paid which annoyed me so bad. In general he's so fucking irritating to be around and he's so genuinely anxious and one tiny thing away from having a panic attack at any given moment i don't know how he's going to function in the real world.
Anyway yeah. Even tho not getting paid fucking sucked i'm glad i had the experience and i'm glad my career choice and future plans got more solidified. That's pretty cool. Title is a song by Embrace (i know it's one word it's still the song title specifically)

6/1/25. 2025 is a nice number for a year.

Yesterday was my last day of winter vacation, so today was my first day back at school. i don't like school, but it was a pretty good day there. i only had one class, and i actually learned something i think i'll find pretty useful. i think throughout my writing i really struggle to really know what the point of my sentences are, and what i learned was the 'arrow' strategy of structuring information. It's just about putting the point at the end of the sentence, but i never thought about it before. It's already helped a lot,even when i'm not really employing the strategy exactly i'm definitely thinking more about what the 'point' of the sentence would be. this is pretty helpful to avoid run on sentences, which i'm not in any hurry to get rid of, (i think they give my writing character, i don't care) but even then sometimes they get kind of extreme to the point of incomprehensibility. Yeah, this is probably very basic stuff for writing, i've always just kinda winged it.

i wanted to write an entry, but i didn't really do anything else interesting today. i did stretch my ears, i went from 8g to 6g. Fun fact, wires use a similar gauge measuring system to tunnels/plugs (with different sizes, of course, just the same names). i'm in trade school as an electrician, it was pretty funny when i had 14g ears and was working with 14g wire.

That's all i have for now, i guess. Entry title is the title of a song by Seeyouspacecowboy...